This weekend I joined the two wild and wacky ladies from the pop duo Suspicious Package in their class called “Pop Star Dance Workout,” one of their Jazzercize Your A$$ Off workout series. I’m not one for group exercise, not convinced that the burn will beat a good run—but I hushed my inner runner, and jumped in feet first into the organized world of jazzercise.
At their Williamsburg studio, I was greeted by Ashlynn a.k.a. Flashpants, and Emily a.k.a. Prince$$ Amelia, with a rum cocktail. “This is part of our hedonistic health philosophy,” Flashpants, in tiger-striped leotard spandex, assured us. Not that I was arguing as I gulped down the cocktail in preparation for the soon to come, awkward 80’s-style aerobics.
Feeling warm from my rum punch, we started out with a series of stretches, then moved into dance workout moves inspired by Madonna’s personal trainer Tracy Anderson. “Channel your inner pop-star and make the moves yours!” they told us. My first reaction to the teenie bopper fun-lovin’ vibe was to laugh, but soon I was into it, even if I was struggling a little. Amelia shouted my way to fix my form. This was just the warm-up. I prayed to the leotard gods—there must be some—to fill me with confidence.
Luckily, the remainder of the class consisted of choreography, less sweat-intensive and more like a beginner’s dance class. Amelia taught us moves to “I wear my sunglasses at night” while we watched the music video projected on a white wall. Her energy like an eight-year-old on a sugar high, with pelvic thrusts and jumping lunges. I couldn’t help but enjoy the whole routine with these two women who seem to have no shame. My arms are already sore as I type this, but I’m considering busting out my sweet new 80’s moves at the bar tonight.
The Jazzercise workout series offers a Beach Party on Tues’s at 7pm, and Dance Like a Pop-Star on Sat’s at 4pm, through the end of Nov. The small space accommodates about six comfortably, so call in advance. Hit it up for $20, for some intimate 80’s spandex butt-busting.
Full class info: http://www.suspiciouspackage.info.